Finally!! A Guide to Loving Myself
Last week I met with author Christine Arylo, author of Madly in Love with Me. She committed to learning how to love herself, and once she did the internal heavy lifting, wrote a guide book to lead individuals from loathing to love. It is a thorough piece of work offered to readers in a fun, inner-active format. I couldn’t wait to interview her for the blog. Enjoy!!!
Rev. Bonnie: What motivated you to go on the journey of self-love?
Christine: For example, while my high self-esteem helped me excel in school, climb the corporate ladder and show up confidently and strong, my lack of self-compassion led me to be really hard on myself. No matter how much I did or achieved, it was never good enough. My weak self-pleasure meant that I worked really hard but never stopped to enjoy or take in what I had actually accomplished. My lack of self-honor, led me to stay in the wrong relationship for 14 years and almost give up my dreams to keep the love of a man. And my lack of self-acceptance drove me daily into the toxic habit of comparing my worst to everyone else’ best.
I left my corporate job and relationship to find self-love for myself and in the process I was given the assignment by the universe to go out and inspire and teach people how to love themselves. I believe that we can create a world in which every child is born connected to love within themselves and stays connected to that source of love forever. Of course, that means all of us adults get to take the adventure to truly love ourselves first. Self love for most people can feel so vast or esoteric, which is why I created and wrote this new practical and fun how-to really know where you need more love and where you are already doing great!
Rev. Bonnie: What is the difference between self love and self esteem?
Christine: Self-esteem is the strong belief in and regard for yourself. It is a strong confidence in your ability to do and be anything. And while we definitely want to foster self-esteem it’s not enough – it’s only 1/10th of the self-love equation.
For example, without self-compassion, you can have tons of self-esteem, but you will be extremely hard on yourself. We are creating a culture of hardened high achievers failing to use the power of the tools of the heart – equating confidence to strength and compassion to weakness, which just isn’t true. Today, women and children are extremely emotionally hard on themselves, driven by the unrealistic expectations to do, be and have it all. And with little training and understanding of self-compassion, they silently beat themselves up, all the while appearing like they have it all together to the outside world.
You need all 10 branches of self-love – self awareness & honesty, self-acceptance, self-care, self-compassion & forgiveness, self-trust, self-esteem, self-empowerment, self-respect & self-honor, self-pleasure, and self-expression well cared for, nurtured and fully blooming. I call this YOUR SELF LOVE TREE and in my new book there is a chapter on each, full of daring adventures.
Rev. Bonnie: What are three ways an individual could start loving themselves more right now?