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Something Fishy Is Going On

Taking my seat in a large auditorium church, it is day two of a much anticipated conference.  After a few minutes of sitting I notice something smells fishy.  I raise my hands to my face.  No, it’s not my skin.  My skin smells like the just applied “Falling in Love” lotion I lathered on after my shower. I pull softly on my blue and white guaze top and smell the corner of it while looking around the room as though I always do this and it smells freshly laundered.  Nothing.  Then I look to the right.  There is a woman with short brown Liza Minelli cut hair, a ruddy face and overexuberant disposition.  I lean into her to hug her and eeeek, it is her.  She stinks.  She smells of, not old seafood from a diner platter the night before, but from “I took raw salmon skin and rubbed it on my body this morning as my new lotion.”  I couldn’t believe it.  My gag reflexes set in and...

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