I Am and I Can
Each evening, my friend Rhonda and I huddle on the phone for more or less an hour and read spiritual books to each other. As we have an insight or desire to go deeper into conversation around a concept, we stop and enter into High Conversation.
Last week the two of us were reading about Infinite Possibilities that exist in the Un-Manifest Universe in the book The Thought Exchange, by David Friedman. One of the assignments David gives is to make a list of “I can’t” statements and convert them into “I can” possibilities. “I can work in an environment where my work is appreciated.” “I can have a loving relationship where I feel honored and appreciated.” “I can have a thriving business.” “I can be healed from this condition.”
I began making a list of my own. Since I was a very young I had allergies and asthma (as did my dad and sibling). Come Springtime, it took everything I had to be able to capture a breath. I was determined to sit with the idea “I can” breathe as I am currently in a springtime bronchial experience. Up until our reading, it never occurred to me to examine an experience I have had, essentially since birth. I then wrote, per David’s guidance, a list of what I must think in order to be someone who cannot draw a full, complete, easy breath. My list included (and was not limited to): I have to work hard to breathe. My breath is heavy. My breath is noisy. I can’t play sports and breathe at the same time. I am limited because of my lack of breath. I am defective. When the earth is blooming, I am restricted. My body is needy. And then one sentence came out that I knew was THE MOTHERLODE … I have to effort REAL HARD for what comes naturally to others. I sat with this sentence a long while staring at the page. What a whopper of a sentence that to me was a core mis-belief that was more than about breathing.
I sat with the question, CAN life (breath) be effortless? I decided it couldn’t be. In the realm of the physical everything takes effort. To eat, shower, talk on the phone, walk … just perform basic functions requires effort. Then a light bulb went off for me. The efforting I am referring to is not in the physical realm; it is in the thought/emotional realm. I reached into the Infinite Possibilities within the Un-Manifest Universe and grabbed out a sentence that I’ve lived into this past week … “I CAN feel as though my daily living is effortless.” And, a big sigh came out. I relished, rolled around, sang into this space for a good 18 hours and then the crap hit the fan! My next two days were filled with “burden.” My bank made a mistake and it took me hours to clean it up. The pool guy changed the filter and did it incorrectly so there was a loud buzzing noise coming from the pool which took more phone calls and a pool intervention. My phone rang off the hook and each call was someone wanting something from me with a deadline. I had paperwork to hunt down to prepare my taxes. I was working on a project that required my prime time which continued to get interrupted by other people’s seeming emergencies. I was feeling smothered (aka unable to breathe) and with each feeling of burdensome request I took a deeper breath and affirmed “I CAN feel as though my daily life is effortless.”
In The Thought Exchange, David highlights that when we take on and really live out a new thought, we feel all kinds of uncomfortable, unresolved sensations as we are outside our comfort zone; something I talk about often in my classes. And, I did. I felt the constriction of my breath, my heart racing, fuzzy thinking, clammy hands. I felt it all and have continued to think, “I CAN feel as though my daily life and BREATH are effortless.”
I had an epiphany of sorts. Ever since I can remember, I have been saying affirmations and I love me some affirmations. Affirmations are “I AM” statements written in the positive. I applied this new breathing idea to my breath. “I am breath itself.” “I am the breather of the breath.” “I am the living vessel of God who inhales and exhales with ease.” These statements are mystical statements of Truth. They affirm the “isness” of God. They state WHO I am. And, “I can” statements are statements of possibility.
“I am” are statements of BEING.
“I can” are statements of POSSIBILITY.
As I embrace 2019 which is a year of great expansion for me, I will utilize this process repeatedly. Since I know that I am Infinitely and Abundantly Loved, entering into these unexamined places are welcomed.
I send you a big dose of Love and know that you too are blessed, a blessing and you CAN live the life you so deeply desire.
Reverend Bonnie will be speaking in Lake Havasu in May. Stay tuned for dates/times.