Contemplating Gratitude

“I have been keeping a gratitude journal since I was a teenager, now I’m in my 70s. I have 90,000 pages of gratitudes.” Okay, this isn’t a direct quote, but it’s close — Dr. John DeMartini said this in an interview with Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith.

It got me thinking about the tens of times I have started a gratitude journal and stopped. I had two additional thoughts. How much space does 90,000 pages take up? If 500 sheets are in a ream and there are 10 reams to a box, then it would be 180 boxes of paper. It’s a lot. More than the space it takes up in form, I wonder about the changes of the neuropathways that 90,000 pages of gratitude. I imagine a life with this much gratitude as being quite bouyant.

Then, I had a realization. I engaged in the spiritual practice of gratitude in order to get, change, or improve something. I did it for achievement. The promise with gratitude is to assist in manifestation, to make me happier, to become healthier and wealthier, closer to God… then I wondered…who would I be if I did daily gratitudes without needing to get something out of them?

I did them just because.

Who would I be if I worked out at the gym not to become physically fit, youthful, or stronger, but simply for the love of moving my body? What else have I unconsciously committed to with the idea of getting, gaining, improving or changing? Can I drop this unconscious drive and allow myself to simply enjoy all of it? Let go of the achieving and accept joy in its stead? I’m committed to trying.

I have been aware of the power of Love and Its impact when I give it attention. Love doesn’t depend upon getting, achieving OR changing. It flows. Many of my friends are dying or sick and there is an internal desire to be grateful just to be grateful. I enjoy speaking words of gratitude, I will continue for the joy of it. For the Love of it.