Letting Go is Oh, So Hard

I shared with you several posts ago that I got married.

And, I am moving. Well, sort of.

My primary home will eventually become a second home as it is rented out to professionals by the month.

My husband and I packed up a moving van, brought my most cherished things to Arizona and my still-I-love-oh-so-much things remain in my Spokane home. Where I sit writing now.

My walls are surrounded with spiritual art. Art that has significance, story, history, and beauty. And, the art can’t remain on the walls for a rental. This means the pieces must go. Somewhere. And, I don’t want to let go. As I stare at my art I remember the location I bought it from or if it was a gift from a beloved friend. I recall the artist and its backstory and when each of them became a child of mine. As I stare at each painting or carving I can’t imagine my life without it. Yet I will and I will be fine. Actually better for it.

I had a similar experience with my books. They taught me so much. I grew up with them. I deepened through them. And now it feels like a sort of betrayal to let them go.

And, I am not an old lonely cat lady. Things don’t replace relationships for me. Meaning I have an active, large, and very satisfying life. I will be fine without any of my possessions and yet underneath the let go feels like some sort of loss. I am shocked at this. It is hard for me to admit. If I am fortunate enough to live a long life I will continue to release my belongings along the way. Now is a good time to begin the practice.

So I will ask my grandchildren if they want any of my art. Then I will ask friends. Then I will sell or gift pieces to a thrift store. But first I will take a photo and write the backstory of each piece for me. They can become part of a future story and I am sure one day I will delete them, too.

I am not sure why it was easier to let go when I was younger. It doesn’t really matter. What matters for me, now, is that I continue to let go of the physical reminder of the past as I embrace my new next.

Under the Tuscan Sun has been one of my favorite movies that I watch every few years. In the movie there is a scene where Diane Lane’s character moves to Tuscany and brings only a little vase as a reminder of her life she once lived in the United States. I hold this reminder in my mind. I don’t need a thing to reflect my Soul back to me. And there is an entire world out there waiting for me to discover its Beauty.

Today, I let go.

“Unnecessary possessions are unnecessary burdens. If you have them, you have to take care of them. There is great freedom in simplicity of living. It is those who have enough but not too much who are the happiest.” Peace Pilgrim