The Short of It All

This morning I woke up to the day after the blue moon.

The blue moon that my spiritual teacher said could wreak havoc causing tears resulting in the release of that which no longer is of service to the Higher Good. Shift is happening, she says, that hasn’t happened for 500 years.

I look forward to invitations like this. I scream out to God in the silence of my home or the center of my head YES!!! My life is Good and I accept more of me to be expressed, more of me to be free, more of me to give, more and deeper.

Last night I crawled in bed after watching the documentary on comedian Martin Short, The Short Life. I loved him on Saturday Night Live. I have loved him in the movies. I seek him out. This documentary is pure Joy. From beginning to end, despite the death of his brother at age 12, his mother at 18 and dad at 20 he realizes the temporary nature of human life and the fun that can be had in it. I watched his holiday parties, beach parties, practicing comedy with friends and I could see the happy, happy, joy, joy he experiences in life. SO ALIVE. As I have been. And, as I miss.

You see, I have been doing stuff I am unable to find joy in. Packing. Cleaning. Sorting. Moving. Preparing. Yard sale. Pulling weeds in the garden beds. None of this I am good at. And none of this I like no matter how I reframe it. I have been trudging along. I have a modified diet where foods are off limit. And I have been experiencing a lot of fatigue with an inability to accomplish a lot of what I don’t like doing.

I woke up this morning crying. This is not how I want to live my life. I remind myself it is temporary and that my Martin Short life will return. I also remind myself of the power of the blue moon. I am shedding. Tears were predicted. I begin my day with a long, long walk. I look at all of the ways the outside world and the inside world are telling me “no.” Then I remember the first thing I learned in metaphysics. TURN YOUR ATTENTION (ENERGY and FOCUS) TO WHAT YOU WANT AND THE DIRECTION YOU ARE MOVING IN. I find some inner spaciousness. ALSO, TURN YOUR ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU HAVE AND PRACTICE GRATITUDE.

Uplift. Uplift. Uplift. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

I have been in an active spiritual life for almost thirty years and aware of my desire to live from Spirit when I had my first direct encounter with the Divine Presence of Love almost sixty years ago. When I am in pockets like this I know they are temporary and part of the evolutionary pull. I know I am shedding. I know all is well. And I am grateful, although I don’t like it. Experiences of emotional darkness are necessary for me to have compassion for me and as I do compassion for others on this planet.

What I am reminded from the documentary is IN THE MIDST of all of this I can still laugh. Laugh at myself. Laugh with myself. And, hold myself gently as I take one more dreaded step toward the direction I am moving in. Today I am grateful for the example of Martin Short and the reminder to me that life can be lighter, no matter the circumstances.