Above My Paygrade

It was time to get my hair done for the first time in my new (small) city.

I booked myself at a salon one mile from my new home from a reference given to my husband from his barber. I wanted my hair foiled and cut.

I walked in to the salon and was met by the owner and stylist. What unfolded surprised me. It has been years since I have knowingly been in the presence of a fundamental Christian and I was held captive in the chair for two and a half hours as the foiling and cutting took place. The radio was on in the background and there was a commercial for A.I. That started the conversation. She shared with me that we were going to be chipped (I do know there are some trials happening voluntarily in some parts of the world) and, according to my new stylists bad people would have the mark of the Devil 666 tattooed on their forehead. I asked her who would do the tattooing and she said she didn’t know. Just that it would happen.

I took a deep breath as I contemplated how much I wanted to engage in this conversation. I just let the stories and comments fly for over an hour. I listened to how often she prayed. How she moved from Colorado to Arizona. How afraid she is to live alone and so how she checks in daily with her son so he knows she’s okay. I listened to the evils of the world. About ninety minutes into her talking she shared with me a list of people she knew was going to Hell or went to Hell. These were well known celebrities, business executives, public figures. I asked her if she personally knew anyone she had on this list. No. I just couldn’t listen any longer. Ensuring my heart was open and I was coming from a place of compassion I asked “isn’t it written in scripture that you aren’t to judge others?” She stopped for a moment to say “yes.” “Well,” I said, “I have no interest in this topic as you see I have enough work tending to my own behavior, I don’t have the time or energy to tend to others. Beside, this is God’s business. It is above my paygrade.” She thought for a moment not sure how to process what I said. Then she changed the subject.

This got me thinking about all of the time I used to invest in thinking I knew what was best for others and how they ought to live their lives. The time and creativity I lost by ascribing my value system onto other’s behavior. Sigh. Exhausting. I acknowledged to myself all of the fresh, creative energy I have by not investing it in gossip, conjecture, judging, and so forth. I was reminded when I was a fundamental Christian and had a Honk If You Love Jesus bumper sticker, carrying my Bible wherever I went in case I had to look something up and saw myself as walking the narrow path. This fundamental self would bring me into studying all major world religions, broadening my aperture, and then diving deep inward to metaphysics then mysticism. I renewed my vow to myself to show up in love no-matter-what, knowing the best testimonial is beingness.

“No person can be happy who lives in a continuous state of condemnation of people, conditions, and things. We must learn to praise and not condemn.” Dr. Ernest Holmes