“Falling” In Love

Dear Friends,

It’s Fall. I’m in Seattle. And, I’m contemplating Love.

Not the kind of weather-shifting, preference driven, personality love; but the hardcore, ‘I am by your side always’ of kind of Divine Love. No matter what; ‘I am with you,’ kind of Love. The unconditional stuff. Well, Love is always unconditional, which is what makes it hard to wrap our arms around and practice. Yet, I contemplate it today.

Love is the greatest force in the Universe. It heals. It transforms. It generates Light. It uplifts. It comforts. It brings joy.

The awareness of Divine Love I am contemplating today is the Love that I call to me when I am experiencing emotional distress. I have spoken about this practice this past year on the YouTube Program Talk and Practice. This Divine Love practice is loving whatever emotion arises within me. In this practice I am bringing the Non-Changing Eternal into the ever-arising emotional states generated out of situations.

I am contemplating this today as I am facilitating a retreat this weekend for spiritual advisors. The theme of the weekend is predicated upon the desire to embody and access more of this Divine Love so I am sitting with how to explain it and set it up. Here is what I am writing in my journal.

Over the past thirty years I have noticed that the clients who come to see me are coming out of some form of uncomfortable emotion they are wanting to get rid of, suppress, or no longer feel. The lengths they go to are extreme in order to outrun these emotions. Over-eating, over-drinking, over-drugging, over-shopping, over-sexing, over-exercising (yes, it’s a thing). Being co-dependent. Being controlling. Denying themselves joy. Limiting visibility and therefore success. Lying to themself and others. Layering thoughts and identities on top of these emotions. These little rascals of emotions have great power in an unconscious psyche.

So many of the one-to-one sessions are me showing up with an individual bringing forth Divine Love in their presence so they can relax. I assign a few spiritual practices and maybe a book to read or a video to watch. Then by session three we are rocking and rolling. We look at patterns of thought and emotions attached to them. Then, they learn to start to bring forth Divine Love into their space.

The spiritual practice is in the midst of emotional discomfort we IGNORE THE CAUSE (the opposite of what most of us do) and we focus upon Divine Love and Its Energetic Signature in the midst of our emotional distress. This too can be grossly uncomfortable, but sitting with this discomfort dissipates the energy and ripens us in love. It IS a transformative process.

First I made a list of areas where we have been taught we aren’t good enough or something is wrong with us:

1. Our bodies. We experience shame, disgust, anger, dislike of, and hatred toward our bodies if they don’t look a certain way or if they are not able to do certain functions. For example: excess weight. Yuck. Balding hair. Not good. Skin disorders. Shame, shame, shame. Too short or too tall (not sure what they are, but we all know them). Physical weakness. Ripe for teasing. No sex. Loser. Too much sex. Slut. The list includes something for everyone and creates a relationship of energy between our perception and our bodies filled with non-love. Take this in for a moment. Our own precious temples of the most High God; you and I have learned to hate.
2. Our ability to make and to manage money. This area is ripe with all kinds of emotions, too. As women we make less than men and until my lifetime have been restricted to the same borrowing and owning power as men. Even more true for our brothers and sisters with more pigment in their skin. Some Holy, Sacred professions like minister and school teacher make a fraction of the money that other professions do which invest less or the same time becoming educated. Perceived value is different. What about our brothers and sisters who don’t know what they want to do and are lost? What about individuals with different abilities which aren’t recognized in our society as having value? How about our siblings who have served in war, have significant PTSD and are possibly homeless? The culture has piled on all sorts of shame, blame, anger, hatred, and FEAR to those who don’t have loads of cash.
3. Our politics and points of view. It goes without saying that there is a lot of diminishment and hatred in the realm of politics. What about emotions that arise when thinking about deporting Americans? Cutting off funding to children in the world who we know have died because of it. That’s heavy. Tariffs and rising prices. The list in this area is a long one. The invitation in the emotional journey is to NOT focus on the politics, but on your emotions that have been triggered.
4. Relationships. Oh my goodness. This is an interesting category as you and I are in relationship with much more than people, which allows us to look at how are emotions take rise. I stayed at a guy friend’s house when traveling recently. He had one bathroom we shared so you can imagine the feels that arose when I fell in a toilet that didn’t have the seat down. How about playing games with friends? Following or not following rules or norms? Issues with enoughness which can bring up shame or fear? And we have relationships with nature, animals, the invisible realm, our cars, our homes, money, food, clothing, and ideas.

So, there’s a lot. And each one of us is endowed with the ability to Love or hate. This practice of introducing Love NOT into situations looking for the good in them (although this is also transformative) but instead meeting our emotions with Divine Love as they arise within us. Giving them the space to peak and fall and not become lodged in our bodies.

I have been actively engaged in this process for years and given it my all this past year. Melting the unconscious areas of hatred toward myself and watching the same in clients has been a true gift of Self to self.

Blessings,

Reverend Bonnie