Giving Grace Here, Giving Grace There

I learned early on in my ministry that people show you who they are and “out” themselves through their conversation and their behavior.

As the saying goes, “if I was given a dollar for…” everytime that someone projected their unhealed stuff on me wrapped in their own agenda and expectations. And, I could say the inverse too, if others were given a dollar for everytime I projected my unhealed stuff. Oooh, la, la.

The initial part of the spiritual or therapeutic journey is to look at yourself and your own patterns. Until you can see them within yourself you live them out loud for the entire world to watch. I dated a man who was SOOOO cheap. I mean insanely cheap. We wouldn’t and couldn’t go out to a restaurant without a coupon. We got movies from the library and made popcorn at home, instead of going out. I could give you a list, but no need to. Now everyone around him talked about him behind his back as being cheap, frugal, miserly, and he couldn’t see it in himself. It was a blindspot. But interestingly enough, he would point out people around him who had his same behavior labeling them with disgust.

What we are fixated on, what is unhealed, what is “looping” is shown to us as well as to others we are around. We were made that way. There is nowhere to hide.

These past ten days I have had a crazy bout of pneumonia. I noticed that although I was supposed to rest all of my programming showed up about timelines and needing to get things done and finishing projects. I was pushing myself. I would give myself rest periodically and when I did, someone else, usually a family member would urgently need me or something from me. I reminded myself that my profession isn’t responding to o crisis’ yet they were just showing me what I was unwilling to give myself…opportunities to award Grace. Grace to them for being in a predicament and Grace to me for saying “no” wishing I could say yes.

Grace is so powerful. It is an energy that demonstrates love AND it rises about or lives outside of any rules, patterns, agendas and expectations we have for ourselves. It lets us off the hook. I have been noticing where I have been hard on myself, embarrassed about my condition, wishing things were different then they are, and having to ask for help. I have been practicing giving Grace through all of this. Grace comes from the Latin word “gratus” which means pleasing and thankful. What a practice to be pleased no matter what the conditions are and thankful in the midst of it all. I see it as a practice of giving space, understanding, and care for self and other.

You are so weak. Give up to grace.
The ocean takes care of each wave till it gets to shore.
You need more help than you know.
― Rumi