Human | Bonnie Barnard - Part 7

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Meditating in the Dental Chair

There have been many times in my life when I have paused to give thanks for my meditation practice. Today, at the dentist was one of them. Let me back up. I learned to meditate out of my deep, deep hunger to connect with my inner spirit, to know God within me. I have been meditating daily for almost twenty years. And, yes, little-by-little meditation has supported me in clearing out the voices of the world so that I may hear my deep, small voice within speak to me. Meditation has also trained me in pausing to make conscious choices over reactive impulses. Learning to follow my breath, calm my body, and retrain my thoughts have been a bi-product of this practice. Today I’m at the dentist. Laying the dental chair with my mouth wide open, my body tenses as a needle makes its way toward me. I thought I was going in for filling replacement, and it turned out to become the first step of getting...

Three Arizona Writers Speak; I Listen

Yesterday I went to the heart of downtown, for my first time since moving to Phoenix. Invited to hear three women speak as part of Arizona’s Centennial Celebration, I donned my tennis shoes and walking clothes and headed toward town. Driving and parking became an emergent issue as I reached Jefferson and First Avenue. A bike race was underway with speeding cyclists swooshing through the streets forcing me to park seventeen blocks from my destination. Grateful for my choice in clothing and shoes, I began my walk toward the big event arriving fifteen minutes late. Martha Beck, known as “Oprah’s coach” had already begun her story telling. I arrived to hear her recount dreams she had of Africa when she was pregnant with her son, Adam. “Remember your dreams, if only a little part of them,” she encourages us. Dreams led her to finding her Soul, finding her work, and finding herself. Hundreds of Arizonans sat on the edge of their seats. She spoke of times when she felt...

Good-bye Whitney

As my years on the planet increase and my spiritual practice deepens, I become more and more aware of the gift celebrities play for us in our lives. These are my insights: 1. They have the courage to be seen. As a magnet for our sight, we give them permission to set our fashion trends. How often have you seen a scarf or blouse on a celebrity and said to yourself “I want one like that?” Or, have gone to a hairdresser to say “I’d like a Dorothy Hamil, Farrah Fawcett or Jennifer Aniston cut? The light side of the celebrity’s willingness to be seen is the bringing forth of beauty into our lives. The darker side is when we are hesitant to look within our own selves, we will likely hoist our opinion and judgement externally toward another. Celebrities are great lightening rods, just mention the name “Sarah Palin” and you will get a strong reaction of support or disgust. 2. They are willing to be...

Walking

I love to walk. Every day I take a four to five mile walk and magic happens. The walk is never the same, although the path remains so. Different cars drive by me, trees are in different stages of development, birds are chirping or quiet, I am surrounded by a whole variety of life. I have begun to vary the time I walk. Morning is different than mid-day different than day’s end. This time of year in Phoenix, I’ll wear long pants and a sweatshirt for my morning walks, mid-day attire will be shorts and t-shirt, and evening is back to the long sleeves. During my walks I receive “downloads” or cosmic insight. It was during a walk that I realized I needed to feel the absence of love in my life to recognize its presence. This changed the texture of my being and the direction of my life’s work. I forgive and bless on walks. And I practice being fully present. I practice being in my body, feeling...

What to Do when Someone You Know Loses a Loved One

My friend’s mother died when we were in junior high school. Unexpectedly, she had a brain aneurism at work. I attended the memorial service, so very uncomfortable with the idea of death and unschooled in what to do, I turned into an entertainer. At the reception I told jokes and stories, trying to keep it light for me. Viscerally I was so uncomfortable, my nerves had gotten me. I didn’t once say a word about her mother. Fast forward decades and I’ve lived a bit longer and stumbled my way through awkward situations, including the death of my own loved ones. This is what I’ve learned. When we discover someone we love has died or experienced death within their family, immediately send something. Send a phone call, a card, a FB post, a gift, flowers, home cooked meals, something. Let them know they are loved. My favorite? Cards and gifts, something personal. A massage, a mani-pedi, a book on grief, something. Grief is filled with so many paradoxical emotions,...

I Choose to be Maladjusted

Over the years I have loved Martin Luther King, Jr for his commitment to living heaven on earth and I’ve disliked him for his alleged philandering. When I learned it was a mother who said to him in the grocery story “I hope someday our children can play together and not be judged by the color of their skin but instead by their character,” I was angry he didn’t credit her for these heart felt words. Since becoming a minister I realize talks are inspired in large part by our experience with others, so I softened a bit. After I had the experience of being cheated on, I couldn’t imagine a man who touted “morality” harming his wife this way. I still don’t understand this one, and I’ve learned it isn’t my business to. There are periods over the past four decades I have also been deeply inspired by his words and work. Core changing inspiration which has led me to see the Gospels in a social light. I...