Insight | Bonnie Barnard - Part 12

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New art at Starbucks changes store experience

Today when I entered the Starbucks on 16th and Bethany Home, something was different. I felt it. Looking around, I spotted walls filled with powerful art. Art in which the space felt different, a bit cozier, like a living room. Thanking the manager for the intimate feeling in the store due to this beautiful art, I was shocked to learn the 7th grade class at Madison 1 School were the Picassos. Each piece had the name of the artist beneath it as though it were being displayed at the Phoenix Art Museum. It is moments like this I feel a sense of pride in the human experience. I will never know what it means to the young budding artist to have their work displayed in their community. Does this one simple act translate into personal validation? Will these creatives know that what they generated from insides themselves is worthy of being framed and on display? Will they be encouraged to create more? Will they honor their...

Three Arizona Writers Speak; I Listen

Yesterday I went to the heart of downtown, for my first time since moving to Phoenix. Invited to hear three women speak as part of Arizona’s Centennial Celebration, I donned my tennis shoes and walking clothes and headed toward town. Driving and parking became an emergent issue as I reached Jefferson and First Avenue. A bike race was underway with speeding cyclists swooshing through the streets forcing me to park seventeen blocks from my destination. Grateful for my choice in clothing and shoes, I began my walk toward the big event arriving fifteen minutes late. Martha Beck, known as “Oprah’s coach” had already begun her story telling. I arrived to hear her recount dreams she had of Africa when she was pregnant with her son, Adam. “Remember your dreams, if only a little part of them,” she encourages us. Dreams led her to finding her Soul, finding her work, and finding herself. Hundreds of Arizonans sat on the edge of their seats. She spoke of times when she felt...

Good-bye Whitney

As my years on the planet increase and my spiritual practice deepens, I become more and more aware of the gift celebrities play for us in our lives. These are my insights: 1. They have the courage to be seen. As a magnet for our sight, we give them permission to set our fashion trends. How often have you seen a scarf or blouse on a celebrity and said to yourself “I want one like that?” Or, have gone to a hairdresser to say “I’d like a Dorothy Hamil, Farrah Fawcett or Jennifer Aniston cut? The light side of the celebrity’s willingness to be seen is the bringing forth of beauty into our lives. The darker side is when we are hesitant to look within our own selves, we will likely hoist our opinion and judgement externally toward another. Celebrities are great lightening rods, just mention the name “Sarah Palin” and you will get a strong reaction of support or disgust. 2. They are willing to be...

What to Do when Someone You Know Loses a Loved One

My friend’s mother died when we were in junior high school. Unexpectedly, she had a brain aneurism at work. I attended the memorial service, so very uncomfortable with the idea of death and unschooled in what to do, I turned into an entertainer. At the reception I told jokes and stories, trying to keep it light for me. Viscerally I was so uncomfortable, my nerves had gotten me. I didn’t once say a word about her mother. Fast forward decades and I’ve lived a bit longer and stumbled my way through awkward situations, including the death of my own loved ones. This is what I’ve learned. When we discover someone we love has died or experienced death within their family, immediately send something. Send a phone call, a card, a FB post, a gift, flowers, home cooked meals, something. Let them know they are loved. My favorite? Cards and gifts, something personal. A massage, a mani-pedi, a book on grief, something. Grief is filled with so many paradoxical emotions,...

Celebrating Life as a Response to Death

Today am I keenly aware of death. Rev. Jackie Allen, my former practitioner teacher made her transition this week. Three years ago today, my father passed away. Last month I attended an out of state memorial service for my high school friend’s husband. Yesterday I dropped a sympathy card in the mail for a friend whose father passed. As a minister, I have conducted many memorial services and a few funerals. It is one of the reasons I became a minister. There are moments in our lives when people gather together out of love and cheer each other on. Births, birthdays, weddings, graduations, new homes, and deaths. Death is different than other celebrations as often grief companions us through the process. Our hearts are broken. We are at choice to allow our heart to break open, or to close it and try to protect ourselves from any future pain. The courageous route is to be broken open and to allow vulnerability to rise within us. The death of a...

I Choose to be Maladjusted

Over the years I have loved Martin Luther King, Jr for his commitment to living heaven on earth and I’ve disliked him for his alleged philandering. When I learned it was a mother who said to him in the grocery story “I hope someday our children can play together and not be judged by the color of their skin but instead by their character,” I was angry he didn’t credit her for these heart felt words. Since becoming a minister I realize talks are inspired in large part by our experience with others, so I softened a bit. After I had the experience of being cheated on, I couldn’t imagine a man who touted “morality” harming his wife this way. I still don’t understand this one, and I’ve learned it isn’t my business to. There are periods over the past four decades I have also been deeply inspired by his words and work. Core changing inspiration which has led me to see the Gospels in a social light. I...