Loving Yourself Through Transitions
The Presence of God, Life Itself, lives in the new. Rev. Dr. Bonnie Barnard
I am currently in the middle of another life transition.
Some of my transitions I haven’t chosen, but have happened; like the death of my beloved father or the ending of a relationship I didn’t want to end. Other transitions I have sought out, hunted down, and squeezed out of them juicy joy. Others, although wanted, I have tip-toed and waded in as a swimmer adjusting my body to a surprisingly cold and refreshing ocean on a hot day.
Each transition I’ve walked through has been poetically different than the other. Romantic, gritty, welcomed, unwelcomed, bigger than me, exciting, grief-filled; each one has had its own tune and tone. And yet with each one, I learn something more about my self, my Soul, and this thing called life.
The transition I am currently in is a dream realized. I have yearned for and nurtured this transition for twenty years. Although deeply desired, the signs of a transition and the way I nurture myself remain consistent.
Transitions are Uncomfortable
First of all, I remind myself that transitions can be uncomfortable. In fact, transitions that promote growth and Soul discovery ought to be uncomfortable. Think about this for a moment. I am leaving one state of being to move toward another that is unknown to me, which I haven’t yet occupied. This state of becoming has within it growing stretches and discomfort. Once I acknowledge this to myself, I experience relief.
Endings Proceed Beginnings
As a snake sheds its skin for a new one, or a lobster molts its shell for its bigger self, or a caterpillar surrenders his entire known existence, the old must end. The Bible says new wine doesn’t fit in an old wine skin. The Spirit that is evolving my Soul cannot prosper within me should I hold onto old ideas of myself or of life. I let go of the old, to accept the new. This is energetic, and also active within form.
As I have moved from Phoenix to Los Angeles to give myself opportunity to fulfill a deep desired dream of mine, I left behind my home, belongings, spiritual community and friends in Phoenix to start new in Los Angeles. And, the two cities are different. There is a physical change in weather, traffic, population/congestion, parking, food, area codes, the whole bit. With this new change comes the opportunity of saying “no” to the old people, places, and things I don’t want to bring into my new iteration of self. I cleaned out things when I packed up my Phoenix home. Today I cleaned out my address book.
My Call is To Treat Myself Gently and Love What Comes Up
Transitions by definition are in-between states; bridges from one state of being to another. The wobbliness in the midst of change is a given as the new structures are not yet solid. They are the invisible and visible gateway of going between one reality and another. Every chance I get I am nice to myself. I hold myself in Grace.