Starting New

 

Starting new doesn’t always require an ending; but it often does. Sometimes a new start is birthed out of love or lust. It isn’t expected, you meet someone, and then a relationship begins budding on its own volition yet with our permission. Sometimes there is an inner desire that bubbles to the surface inspiring you to take dance lessons, paint, read poetry or engage in art. And sometimes the most memorable beginnings start with an ending (or two or three) which require extra effort in order to claim our space and self. This is where I have been sitting.

An intimate relationship of mine has ended after two years of closeness. I celebrate this. It is a good thing. With it; though comes change to a routine; quiet where there once was sound, open space where there once was stuff; and available time that was once occupied. I am noticing my body has chimed it with its changes. I am juicing a lot, eating a little, and moving more.

And my outer world is reflecting this break up by breaking down. Within the past two weeks my air conditioning died (and has been resurrected), my pool piping broke (and has been replaced), my shower has a leak (which has been in intensive care for far too long now), and my blog data base disabled (which means rebuilding). Shift and change is happening. I notice when I step into the energy of the change and make it wrong or difficult I suffer. When I laugh from the outside and go about doing what needs to be done loving myself and those involved in the process, it is not so bad.

Days after the move out I was watering and sweeping bird poop off the pool decking in the backyard aware that my structures needed to be built. My first order of my new was to re-Source myself; cleaning up poop will do this. The app Next Door led me to finding some teenage help in the neighborhood and a good lawn guy. Google brought me my pool service. Little-by-little I am finding the support I require.

This experience has heightened my awareness of compassion. When I come into contact with another I don’t necessarily know where they are in their life journey. They may be strong, steady, and visioned; they may be a bit more tender and vulnerable.

I wake up each morning grateful for this journey that always brings me back to my Self. The I Am Presence within that is delighting in yet another opportunity to Love.

I Toast to Life,