Forgiveness
Merry 2013 Christmas Friends
Merry, merry, merry Christmas. I am traveling and appreciating all of it. Whether you are on the road or at your home, I send you a warm Christmas greeting. I left Los Angeles, my new home, to return to Phoenix and connect briefly with some friends and colleagues. Then, off for Christmas to my daughter’s home in Nevada. While in Phoenix my colleague Rev. Renee Morgan Brooks and I discussed the meaning of Christmas over a Thai dinner. She recited to me her favorite Christmas sentiment from Michael Grady’s rewrite of A Christmas Carol. I loved it so much I asked her to please repeat it for you, too. Here goes … Now, my favorite line is to “measure your riches by what you give.” This reminds me of the reason we forgive. We forgive, or give Grace to others, and the side effect is we receive the freedom of Grace too. As we forgive, we are naturally freed. Which had me think of tithing. The practice is to give 10 percent of your income to where you are spiritually fed. As we give our first ten percent we begin to realize that we have. There is a magic in focusing on what we have verses what is gone, what we’ve lost, or what we long for and believe we don’t own. Christmas is such a powerful day to give. If today is one of those holidays that doesn’t feel emotionally solid to you, then sit down and write letters to people you love. Magic happens. If you are hard on yourself, decide to give yourself the benefit of the doubt and treat yourself differently. Give, give, give, give. This past year I read an interpretation of the Kabbalah; an esoteric Jewish text. I took away from it the knowing that I am go both give to myself and receive from myself that which I desire. This means that within me is a giver and a receiver. To give to myself and not receive creates a log jam. To desperately want to receive and to not be willing to give to myself creates a sense of starvation or not enoughness. Both sides are necessary. This insight, whether it really existed within what I read or not, shifted the way I do my life. And, since there is really only One of us here; God in the flesh, then all giving and receiving is from and to self even though it may look otherwise. Play with this concept if it calls to you. My wish for you is peace of mind and open heartedness so I will begin by giving it to me and living it outwardly. Much, much love and Merry...
read moreDefining Forgiveness
To forgive is to accept what is. To forgive is to love regardless of what is. To forgive is to not put anyone out of my heart. To forgive is to choose to love even and especially when it is not convenient. To forgive is to be a place of Grace. To forgive is to refuse to throw someone including oneself under the bus. To forgive is to choose to not slime someone else with my projections or to clean up the slime from my projection. To forgive is to acknowledge the Divine within human circumstances. Many spiritual teachers say forgiveness isn’t necessary. This is true. When One’s Consciousness connects with the High Truth that All is God and everything can and does happen on planet earth and Life is Eternal, then forgiveness isn’t necessary. Isness exists and all of life within it. However, most spiritual pilgrims have not connected with or live from this consciousness. From a dualistic consciousness, forgiveness is the practice that gathers together the pieces from separate into the Truth of One Whole. It is the realization that the perceived wound was necessary for the Soul to emerge and therefore was a gift. The seeming wound becomes the place for opening to happen. Therefore, forgiveness has two primary intentions: Firstly, it is to mend the perceived gap of separation; separation from self; separation from other and/or separation from God. This practice may include with it actions of atonement (at-one-ment). An example of this would be when a neighbor kid very hurriedly sped down the street in his car and my dog jetted out in the middle of the street to get run over. Feeling horrible, the young man stopped and asked how he could help. I thanked him for his concern while my daughter and wrapped the dog, jumped into the car and went to the vets. The following day the young driver stopped by to check on the dog, apologize, and offer to pay for the vet bill. These actions were in alignment with making whole. Secondly, forgiveness is a state of Grace Consciousness. It is the acceptance of what is without making wrong and inviting the Soul to arise within all situations. An example of this may be experiencing betrayal and letting the painful energy crack the heart open so that more compassion may...
read moreMy Three Favorite Forgiveness Practices
When I am in a state of unforgiveness, my insides feel like a damned up river. I can feel balled up energy acting as an impediment to the flow. The impediment is my perception of how things ought to be and the disappointment within me that they are not that way. That disappointment then is directed toward another person in the form of blame. In other words, I have created the entire internal mess by wanting something to be other than it is or someone to be other than they are. My first favorite practice for deconstructing the damn is pulling out my mala beads and on each 108 beads speaking the following words: “I release ______________________ from bondage. I am free. _______________ is free. I choose love.” The repetition of chanting or affirming these words opens within me a space for love to creep in. Contemplate the word “willing.” Once I am damned up, I often can’t unwind my own mess. To sit with the words “willing to…” means that although I don’t know the ‘how’ my energy is saying ‘yes.’ I am choosing a YES to letting go. I may even say out loud “I don’t know how to forgive or let go, but I am willing and trust it is done.” I see myself and the other in the story whole. I may even send Light to myself from myself and to the other from me. The Hindus have a ritualistic burning bowl. Regularly they burn what they desire to let go. They see the smoke as a form of transformation and the process of burning as a physical representation of letting go. Since I lived most of my life in the Pacific Northwest I took to the practice of burying for transformation. I figure since Mother Earth transforms poop into manure, it can take whatever story or emotion I have and transform it into something useful. My favorite of all practices is to allow what is to be (mindfulness) and to practice loving what is. I’ve learned that acceptance provides peace and loving provides bliss. This to me is the PhD in Love. To be willing to Love in the midst what appears to be so horrific is an advanced...
read moreThe Field of Right and Wrong Making
A minister colleague saw me as being wrong within a situation. She wanted me to provide her with some marketing materials unique to her church and yet she refused to ask me for them. She felt I ought to “know.” I knew her perception had nothing to do with me and everything to do with her pattern of pushing people away, making them wrong in order to step in and be the right one who cleans up the mess saving the day. This pattern provided her with a false sense of superiority. I saw the pattern. And yet, this woman was so caught up in her story that she refused to have a conversation. I was committed to speak at her church and she refused to talk with me. At this point I knew I could do one of several things: see the pattern for what it is and bless her, or step into the energy field of right and wrong making myself an investigator. As I was pondering these two choices, I heard my energy doctor’s voice behind me say, “don’t you dare step into the field, it could kill you” and I chose to disregard his wisdom and step in. God is all there is. There is One Energy, One Power, One Presence and yet, there are fields of energy which exist at various strengths because so many people believe in them and live from them. The field of right and wrong making is one of these fields. Although not Real in the Eternal Holy Sense, this human dynamic has been leveraged to hurt each other, diminish each other, start and wage wars, perpetuate hatred, underpin lawsuits, cause many stress-related illnesses — the right/wrong dynamic is actively lived out through billions of people. I stepped into this energy field and ping ponged back and forth between right and wrong. I learned: Being Right Starts the Fight. That’s right. We value “right” so much in this country that we don’t often stop to process it is the person who believes they are right that starts the lawsuit, divorce, war, fight, etc. Many battles never take place between two people and exist within one person. We begin by having the Right Voice within us making us wrong and creating shame, blame, guilt and all kinds of internal drama. Taking Care of the Body is Essential in This Dynamic. Moving the body through exercise moves some of the energy. Touch is important in order to connect with the humanity of us all. Feeling the emotions that are present and finding ways to release them in a healthy fashion supports healing. There is a Big Price Tag Attached to This Dynamic. I allowed myself to be beaten up by this right/wrong dynamic. This stress brought me within one week to a three hour massage ($180), two EMDR sessions ($220), one practitioner session ($125), one energy healing session ($90), a reflexology appointment ($95). Many people live within this dynamic and are criticized and made wrong daily. The physical and emotional impact and the health care cost related to this dynamic can be tremendous. Forgiveness Cleans Up the Mess. Feeling all emotions is a necessary part of healing. Feeling, but not belaboring or getting stuck in the emotion. Feeling the guilt, anger, resentment,...
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