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Finally!! A Guide to Loving Myself

Dear Friends,Last week I met with author Christine Arylo, author of Madly in Love with Me. She committed to learning how to love herself, and once she did the internal heavy lifting, wrote a guide book to lead individuals from loathing to love. It is a thorough piece of work offered to readers in a fun, inner-active format. I couldn’t wait to interview her for the blog. Enjoy!!!

Rev. Bonnie:  What motivated you to go on the journey of self-love?

Rev. Bonnie with Author Christine Arylo

ChristineFor example, while my high self-esteem helped me excel in school, climb the corporate ladder and show up confidently and strong, my lack of self-compassion led me to be really hard on myself. No matter how much I did or achieved, it was never good enough. My weak self-pleasure meant that I worked really hard but never stopped to enjoy or take in what I had actually accomplished. My lack of self-honor, led me to stay in the wrong relationship for 14 years and almost give up my dreams to keep the love of a man. And my lack of self-acceptance drove me daily into the toxic habit of comparing my worst to everyone else’ best.

I left my corporate job and relationship to find self-love for myself and in the process I was given the assignment by the universe to go out and inspire and teach people how to love themselves. I believe that we can create a world in which every child is born connected to love within themselves and stays connected to that source of love forever. Of course, that means all of us adults get to take the adventure to truly love ourselves first.  Self love for most people can feel so vast or esoteric, which is why I created and wrote this new practical and fun how-to really know where you need more love and where you are already doing great!

Rev. Bonnie: What is the difference between self love and self esteem?

ChristineSelf-esteem is the strong belief in and regard for yourself. It is a strong confidence in your ability to do and be anything. And while we definitely want to foster self-esteem it’s not enough – it’s only 1/10th of the self-love equation. 

For example, without self-compassion, you can have tons of self-esteem, but you will be extremely hard on yourself. We are creating a culture of hardened high achievers failing to use the power of the tools of the heart – equating confidence to strength and compassion to weakness, which just isn’t true. Today, women and children are extremely emotionally hard on themselves, driven by the unrealistic expectations to do, be and have it all. And with little training and understanding of self-compassion, they silently beat themselves up, all the while appearing like they have it all together to the outside world.

You need all 10 branches of self-love – self awareness & honesty, self-acceptance, self-care, self-compassion & forgiveness, self-trust, self-esteem, self-empowerment, self-respect & self-honor, self-pleasure, and self-expression well cared for, nurtured and fully blooming. I call this YOUR SELF LOVE TREE and in my new book there is a chapter on each, full of daring adventures.

Rev. Bonnie: What are three ways an individual could start loving themselves more right now?

Christine: 1. Take these two promises with yourself – “I promise to love myself, no matter what” and “I promise to never settle for less than my heart and soul desire” – taking a promise is super powerful, if you can keep it! I recommend making a ritual out of this by lighting a candle, looking in the mirror and saying these promises out loud 3x each.
2. Focus on one branch of self-love to focus on for a given time frame, and create a 40-day self-love practice around it. 40-days is the minimum amount of time – as the yogi’s, brain scientists, and metaphysicians agree that is the amount of time it takes to identify and release a self-sabotaging habit. In the book I go through exactly how to create your own practice.  You can also get a copy of the tree at
3.  Daring Act of Love:  Make a JOY Portrait — on a piece of paper write the word JOY. Then using colorful pens or markers, write down all of the things that bring you happiness and smiles and joy. Fill up the entire sheet of paper – don’t stop til you do. Then make a promise to do at least 3 of those thing in the next 3 days. One each day.
Rev. Bonnie: What do you love most about yourself?
I love this question – one of the Daring Acts of Love I give to people is to make an I LOVE ME! LIST – 108 things you love about yourself. 108 is one of the most powerful numbers in the universe. Here are my top 10 – I invite you all to make your own I LOVE ME LIST…
What I love about me is…
– My smile -I have a really great one and I use it.
– My innocence – I am a wise old soul and yet I have the innocence of a little girl that keeps my heart pure.
– I love people – love to be with them, know them, love them.
– My commitment to be the best me I can be.
– My open mind and heart.
– My commitment to truth – telling it and living it.
– My faith.
– My belief in magic and miracles.
– My optimism.
– How I always welcome people in and make an effort to have all feel included.
– My love and flair for fashion.
Gotta go, got some self loving to do,

1 Comment

  1. awesome!

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