Human | Bonnie Barnard - Part 2

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Half Way Through My Fast

On February 1st I announced on my blog that I would go on a February Fast cutting out political news from my daily diet and taking my own energy back. I would meditate from 5 to 6 pm instead of watching Chris Matthews and re-direct my energy toward that which I value. I want to share with you what I’ve observed. When a plane makes a very small, microscopic shift in direction it will end up in a different country. In fact, most of the time pilots are flying they are adjusting course. Flying is a series of mini-course corrections until the desired destination is reached. I should not have been surprised by the impact that this one small change could make in my life, but I was. By giving up political news, reading, and radio, I regained time. Probably 10 to 15 hours per week. The past three months I have had extensive leg, groin, and back pain. Metaphysically this means an inability to move, feeling unsupported, and...

In the Name of God

I took my Groupon or Living Social, one of my online coupons, to a neighborhood salon to get my hair done. I brought book Going Clear, an expose’ about the Church of Scientology, along with me to read. The hair dresser introduced himself and then walked me to his station. He asked me what I was reading and I told him adding my friend’s comment on the book “when you think it can’t get weirder, it does.” With his interest peaked, he asked me what made it weird and I proceeded to tell him about L. Ron Hubbard taking his followers to sea and for punishment when they didn’t “obey him” he’d throw them overboard, as one of the many examples. My stylist then confided in me that he had been in what he referred to as a Christian cult. At age 18 he was part of a year long internship program for youth where he was pushed to do strenuous labor like carrying logs from one part of a camp with another. The...

Ash Wednesday Can Be Any Day

I wanted to write about Ash Wednesday yesterday, on its given day, and it didn’t happen. Although I thought about writing often, it just wouldn’t happen. Instead, I woke up with a message today … one day after its ritually assigned time. Which is PERFECT. It seems like a large portion of my life right now refuses to fit into the box or timeline I want to assign to it. How unfortunate it would have been if a blog on Ash Wednesday actually arrived on Ash Wednesday. Why is this? Because there is no time and space in God, The Universe, Our Hearts. Time and space are units of measurement that we humans brilliantly created in order to track and measure. Two very helpful practices for communicating with one another. Also, Ash Wednesday didn’t “feel different” to me than any other day, and it used to when I was steeped into the Lenten practice and I believed God was an external “thing.” Why doesn’t it? Because every day I ask...

Thank You Mr. President

I have missed you! These past six months I have been traveling and experiencing life without having the compulsion to comment on my experiences or share my internal processes. I am interpreting the “missing” as a call back into my writing. I begin with a big “I miss you.” Each one of you have added a lot to my life and keep the spiritual conversation alive. Thank you. And, I thank Donald Trump. I did not vote for The Donald. I disagree with almost all of his values yet I have been called into deeper love, discernment, and commitment to my awareness of The Life of God operating as me. And, it hasn’t been easy. Deeper Love. I have been called into a state of deeper Love which shows up looking like loving and caring for me, the perceived enemy (President Trump), and those I believe to be impacted by his policies. After decades of regular meditation I can find myself with sleepless nights and surprise surges of adrenaline replicating a panic or...

Ingredients for Mastery

This summer I returned to the Pacific Northwest to dodge the sun and attend a week of what I affectionately call “writer’s camp.” On both sides of this literary week, I stay with friends in their homes. One’s teenage daughter is an aspiring writer. Although I have yet to read her work, I imagine she is quite good as she loves stories. She spends her days watching television and reading immersed subconsciously in it construction. She saves her writing questions for when I come to town. My body now knows how to gauge questions telling the difference between questions of curiosity, questions of tactic and questions of weight. She began with curiosity: what do you do at writer’s camp? Moving then toward tactic — how do you pick a publisher and what does an agent do? And the question of weight was loaded with vulnerability: which genre has the least rejection? There it was hanging in the room. She wanted to write in part to hide. Our conversation wasn’t...

What Really Follows the Storm?

The beauty of being awake and aware to an inner life is to be present to what is alive within at THIS VERY MOMENT. This is good news. This is also not-so-good news. Not so good in that I am aware of when I am chartering unknown territories and I am in the activity of an inner storm. Good news in that the more I ride out and open to storms; the more confident I am in The Eternal Presence of Divine Love to accompany me through them. Such was the case for me these last two weeks of March. I experienced tremendous inner energy shifts resulting in a few sleepless nights; some allergy issues; and, a case or two of Infinite Doubt, to borrow the phrase used by the multiple authors of How Enlightenment Changes Your Brain. I am now a week on dry land and, as always, grateful to have experienced this inner disruption followed by re-calibration. As I sit in reflection, I pause to recognize all of the Support I received through this process:...