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Loving Yourself Through Transitions

The Presence of God, Life Itself, lives in the new.  Rev. Dr. Bonnie Barnard I am currently in the middle of another life transition. Some of my transitions I haven’t chosen, but have happened; like the death of my beloved father or the ending of a relationship I didn’t want to end. Other transitions I have sought out, hunted down, and squeezed out of them juicy joy. Others, although wanted, I have tip-toed and waded in as a swimmer adjusting my body to a surprisingly cold and refreshing ocean on a hot day. Each transition I’ve walked through has been poetically different than the other. Romantic, gritty, welcomed, unwelcomed, bigger than me, exciting, grief-filled; each one has had its own tune and tone. And yet with each one, I learn something more about my self, my Soul, and this thing called life. The transition I am currently in is a dream realized. I have yearned for and nurtured this transition for twenty years. Although deeply desired, the signs of...

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Moving to a New Place

I am right now in the middle of a transition of moving from Phoenix, Arizona to Los Angeles, California. The move was my own choice, of my own doing. This is helpful as I am not working against myself, with the energy of resistance. I want to be here. So I was surprised when the impact of the transition was so powerful and I found myself experiencing grief, loss, and confusion. I am currently applying everything I know about making a successful transition as I write this. The content is fresh. Acknowledge the Transition. I found myself six weeks into the transition at the doctor’s office from stress-related breathing issues. I had packed up my home, put everything I owned into storage, left my community and subleased an apartment in a city I’m don’t yet know. I found myself surprised when my body started yelling at me. I thought my spiritual practice would be enough to inoculate me from a body response. I was incorrect. I have no doubt...

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Death of a Loved One

I sang the song Asi’ Sera tonight in church and was keenly aware of the appropriate message of this song for talking about death in a Soulful context. The words translate: We come to live We come to love We come to pass away And to continue on the journey. The greatest gift a life of Faith has given me, has been the knowing that life continues on after death. This knowing allows me to honor another’s journey as being perfect for them. I can rest in their birth, their death, and their continued form of Soul unfolding. It also gets me off the hook from any form of judging how one dies. There are many ways to leave this world, some more creative and vivid than others and yet the result is the same. Whether for a few minutes, months, years, decades or into old age, our beloved lived, loved, and passed away to continue on their journey. This too is true whether the death is perceived as tragic,...

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Preparing for My Own Death

Who wants to think about their own mortality, yet preparing for our death? I didn’t think I’d want to, yet it has become a part of my annual new year process; that is quite rich. I began preparing for my own death in a Death and Dying class in college when I was twenty years old. In one our classes I was given the assignment to prepare my funeral/memorial service. This woke me up to the many details that exist in death. It also woke me up to the amount of work another would have to do in my absence while grieving, which didn’t feel right to me. At twenty-three I gave birth to my daughter. Remembering what I learned in my college class I would update my “Death” folder in my office between Christmas and the New Year with details of what my daughter would need to know when I die. This folder has now become electronic and although I haven’t done it yet, I can include videos...

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