Now What? Being with Internal Chaos
Sunday night I had a friend over for dinner and at 9:30 pm as we were sitting on the couch listening to jazz on the local public radio station, the phone rang. It was his parents informing him that he would have to spend the night wherever he was as there was a curfew in place. We couldn’t believe it. We turned on my computer to see that Phoenix was ablaze with conflict, anger, and firey objects. My body seized up a bit. I had many different sensations running through it and if I gave them emotional names I’d call them fear, sadness, concern, consternation, loss, and much more.
Our country is in the midst of change. And although it needs it and I want it, I can be uncomfortable with the way it is ushered forward. Yet this is a collective experience and it shows up in many different ways and on many different levels, including the physical. The spiritual invitation is to accept what is and Love what is.
All systems whether social, medical, economical, political, educational, spiritual etc. were born out of the collective thought at the time. Our fellow countrymen (mostly men) dreamed up how we would do our money making, distributing, and banking and in collective agreement it has been so. Our health care system, including our insurance providers dreamt of how we ought to pay for and provide health services for our country. It has changed dramatically in my lifetime and we are once again rethinking it. Our political system which was built upon the idea of public servants and systems of checks and balances has been co-opted by corruption and does not work for most of us who are not white or male. The way we have related to our brothers and sisters was also taught. We are waking up to decide HOW we desire to go forward. Everything we can witness in physical or systemic form was built upon a past thought. We are now challenging those thoughts and being called to rethink them. This is one of many gifts given to us by this pandemic. Life cannot and will not go on as usual; and before reconstruction there is deconstruction and a mess.
Of course I am not advocating physical violence or destruction, however many people who feel emotional disturbance don’t know how to process it any other way than physical. So we have spousal abuse, child abuse, looting, graffiti as we haven’t taught our kids to create art, exercise, and/or speak out their emotional distress. Maybe this will be part of the new that we create.
You and I live a multi-dimensional life. We are Spirit in the flesh and when we are afraid; we can think we are more flesh than Spirit and act out of our “animal” selves. You and I are SO very Powerful as we have The Presence of God pumping through our veins.
What does this mean?
When you or I become emotional we can:
- Refuse to distract ourself. Stay present.
- Switch our self talk from the emotional label to the physical sensation. We can describe the sensation to ourselves (tight chest, tingly hands, dancing stomach, locked-up back, etc) and be aware that as we do this we are the WITNESS to the sensations, not the sensations themselves.
- Remind ourselves that the Presence of God surrounds and enfolds this sensation. God is ALWAYS Present in the form of Love, Peace, and Joy. Breathe it through. I promise you, although intense it won’t last long. You may want to snuggle with a blanket, lean into something soft, or curl into a fetal position. This is fine. Stay with it and remember you are both The Divine Presence of God and the sensation arising.
- After the energy has risen and past, then we celebrate. There is more old stuck energy recycled and available for use.
- Ground into Mother Earth. Taking a walk while feeling your feet moving on the ground is helpful.
(Note: if there is a lot of trauma in your body, you may want to get support from a therapist and a spiritual teacher during this time. However, a midwife isn’t always present and sometimes we have to birth our own babies).
We are called to Love our neighbor AS ourselves. My minister colleague used to say, “that’s the problem. We don’t know how to love ourselves.” This is how. We stay present to our sensations. That’s it. We have made stories to avoid these sensations, taken up addictions to cover them, made other people wrong to avoid feeling them. Mindfulness is the ability to be present to EVERYTHING including the sensations that arise within.
I am available for prayer support. I charge for my time as I sit on your behalf. I am available for an hour session at $150 or for $250 I will bring you into my daily prayers, morning and evening for a month (as we text each other throughout).
Continue to Sing,
Thank you for detailing this precious and valuable tool for processing through emotions. I do hope people who are struggling in doing this, which can be overwhelming for many to be alone in it, reach out for support if needed. Times are tough!
“Overwhelming for many to be alone in it,” the state of overwhelm is interesting, isn’t it? Let’s pray for those who experience aloneness right now. Here’s an affirmative prayer:
God is ALL there is. God. God alone. God only.
I am an expression of this One Life God, as is every person who is reading this prayer. I am made from and of God-stuff as is the reader.
As such, this Presence pulses through my very being and brings to me everyone and everything I need.
Today I call forth understanding, simplicity of thought, and awareness of the Divine Love I Am and I Have. Right where I am, right now, I see with the eyes of The Divine and embrace all I am and all I have. I release the belief in aloneness and open my perception to see the connection in my life right here and right now. I release the belief in overwhelm and trust the next step of God as it leads me forward. I see with God’s eyes. I intuit with the Intelligence of God. And I take guided action reaching out to others as I am guided, creating art and meaning as I am guided and bringing forth The Only and The All through me as me. I remember that emotion is temporary and fleeting and God is Constant and Eternal; I lean into God.
As I speak this for me, I speak it for the reader and I celebrate the working of Love now.
And so It is. Amen.