Thumbing Through Old Journals
I am being moved by Spirit to clean, purge, and make order. This is not usual for me. My friends would tell you that although I keep my home fairly neat and mostly clean that urges to tidy, clean, and create order aren’t common for me.
And, I can’t seem to get enough.
I am creating a powerful on-line course on the Spiritual Side of Physical Healing. Right in the middle of an insight turned paragraph, I am pulled up from the couch and toward a cupboard. And I purge. I clean. I create order. Then, I return to work.
I have been doing this now for two weeks. First the coffee drawer. Out with the Keurig cups for the Keurig machine that died two years ago. Then the living room knick knacks. Beautiful. Antique. And, no longer fitting who I am becoming. Then my supplements. Anything outdated. Gone. What I don’t use. Gone. Next — the clothes closet. First calling. Purses. Green Cole Haan purse is going to a new owner as is my striped travel bag.
And today is no exception. I sit on the couch, begin my research and I am called into my office to go through my old journals. Decades of them. As I open each one, I pull out my computer and capture anything that jumps from the page to embrace me. I begin with the quotes in the front of my journals. As I’ve written my journals I keep the first four pages free for inspired quotes that move me during the timeframe the particular journal is written. Then, I flip through the pages. A record of my interior self learning about who I am by what I give my attention to.
Themes arise. I have notes from each client session. These notes consist of seeming miracles that took place since the particular client’s last session along with their new prayer requests. I smile. My job has allowed me to love and pray for many people. My heart swells. Then I find prayer lists that I created each week like prayers to not get in the way of my own growth, to see The Presence in the midst of it all, and to be with discomfort in a loving way. In 2015 I have a weekly list from people who attended ImpulsUS (the spiritual community I co-founded). Revelations from my own spiritual prayer coach and therapy sessions. I find poems I’ve written and stories I’ve told myself about life, struggle, overcoming, and The Divine Presence of Love. I discover task lists that include things like buy birthday cards, pay bills, and get the car oil changed.
As I witness my former selves, something inside of me does backflips and jumping jacks. Joy is rising. I am being prepared and changed, yet again, as I am being called into a larger and more visible ministry than I have yet known.
A quote from my 2001 journal from Charles Fillmore, Prosperity
“It is the mind that believes in personal possessions that limits the full idea. God’s world is a world of results that sequentially follow demands. It is in this Kingdom that man finds his true home. Labor has ceased for him who has found this inner Kingdom. Divine struggle is brought forth without laborious struggle: to desire is to have fulfillment.”
And from my 2016 journal, a quote from Anne Lamott
“The point of life, a friend said, is not staying alive, but staying in love.”
As I am committed to the ever-growing ministry, I commit to writing this blog more frequently. As you read today’s message it is my intention that you, the reader, catch a whiff of the love that is Presence in The Field this very moment and join me in celebrating Life.