What I Do When I’m in the Thick of It
My house is for sale.
I have lived in my Phoenix home for twelve years, with a brief period of rental in the middle while I moved about the country. I love my home. It fits me. And, I know it is time to move. My life went from abundant and succulent to dried up. My work was being requested in other States, not Arizona, and the heat began to make my body sick instead of expectant like it once did. My social circle, for a large part, moved away. I didn’t want to pay attention to my life calling me elsewhere and I continued to delay the inevitable. And then I couldn’t any longer. I committed that 2020 would be the year that I would do what was mine and move. Then the virus hit. I felt as though the time to uproot myself was not in the midst of a pandemic, so I would wait it out. How long could that be? Possibly years.
Every time I entered into meditation and listened I was guided to begin the moving process. And my mind argued, “but there is a pandemic, I can’t God.” (as a side note, God doesn’t know what can’t is). Then one day my friend Amy came over to social distance with me and talk. It was in front of her that I blurted, “I know this doesn’t make sense, but I am going to sell my home now.” And, I began the process of cleaning, hiring a handyman to fix, thinning out stuff and my house went on the market thirty days ago.
This past week I returned to a homeopathic remedy regime where my emotional body was torqued. More people I knew died. Then an offer for the house came in. I had a conflict with a close friend and I left my body (that hasn’t happened in decades). The buyer and I counter offered six times. I was deflated without my energy fully in my body and aligned with and as The Presence. How could I come back to me?
I found myself in the vortex of “world think” and appeared to be (although I am not) disconnected from God. My intention is to feel this disconnection as I create a welcoming space for me to return to my body. My solution: I reach in to remember Who I Am and out for help remembering Where I live.
Meditation. I love silent meditation. At times I will mix it with a guided meditation. Recently I have been doing two different Light Meditations; which I promise to create and put on an MP3 soon. One is a Light Shower. I sit in Divine Light and receive a showering of it. The second is a Light Tube. Yogananda said our spine is God; and I believe it. So I feel into my spine, experience its radiance as God and fill up internally with The Light. I always start with and include silence. Silence has a cleansing energy to it; it is the scrub-a-dub-dub of spiritual practices. Once scrubbed, listening becomes possible.
Journaling. When I put onto paper the stream of thought that is occupying my mental space it is a visceral form of release. I then explore expansion. Pattern Breaking. What can I do to expand and break this pattern wide open or expand how I experience myself? I feel small. What shift can I make to open up toward the Light? If guided into action, I take it and I affirm The Truth. Which brings me to …
Prayer. I prayer affirmatively where I sit in a Quality of God to receive the Energetic Information that comes the specific quality. It is like having an address in Heaven. With leaving my body and experiencing confusion I sit in the address of Divine Presence and Power.
Read. I have two or three sacred books nearby that I read. Right now I’ve been reading about King David of the Old Testament and I read out loud Psalms 23.
Music. I have been leaning into Sound Healing Music and allowing the vibration to wash over me. My new favorite is personal recordings I have made of gong sessions with friend Dr. Michael. As I continue to hang out in Psalm 23 I like to listen to Bobby McFerrin’s arrangement of the Psalm.
This time I added a lit candle to my practice so I could lean into the light that it generates.
Reaching out is tricky. What I mean by this is that reaching out requires listening to “who” is a good fit to witness the Truth of my being without trying to problem solve me out of it or get sucked into it. Loving and listening are important ingredients. Having a safe person to sit with me in the midst of the muck without taking it in or on and knowing with and for me the Allness of God. Whatever is up needs to be felt and witnessed so it can be transformed. Stories are seductive, yet the inner wounded child self wants the boogey man to be acknowledged and the child to be loved. It is that simple.
So, who can and should do this? I have a great therapist who used to be a yoga teacher so she is amply qualified to sit with me. I have a spiritual practitioner who has been my witness for decades. I work with a homeopathic practitioner who was there to offer a remedy (which I love because it’s energetic). And, I have a small group of friends I can call upon. My own personal preference is to process with the professionals so the time I spend with my friends is creative.
Another aspect of outward looking is to examine what I am giving my attention to. These past several months I have given far too much attention to Covid (not because I am seeking it out but because that tends to be the conversation de jour right now). And I have been giving far too much of my precious life energy to the political field, which as you and I both know is highly divisive. I ask myself, then, what gives me life? Keeps me in my body? Feeds my Soul? Opens my shut down heart? And expands my Light Field? This I give my attention to as I practice gratitude. Speaking of giving, I then ask myself to whom can I give and what am I to give? Random gifts of love have been much fun during Covid. I have given and received face masks, books, food, coffee, money, art, and flowers.
There is practice we used at ImpulsUS, the spiritual community I once facilitated. We would consciously use our bodies to step into the new. My practice this week was to “step into Heaven.” This means placing my attention upon my left foot as the present now and then stepping with the right recognizing the NEW NOW moment and naming it Heaven. Heaven? Where all things work together for my Good. Heaven? Where the darkness returns to the nothingness from which it came. Heaven? Where open hearts find each other and giggle. Heaven on earth. That is where I live. And I have a song to support it. (Click Here).
It is my prayer that you and your family are well and I am grateful for who you are in the world at this moment.
P.S. If you want more information on Affirmative Prayer, Reverend Bonnie wrote a book on it.