Awake | Bonnie Barnard - Part 9

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This Too is Holy

One of my favorite teachers, Emma Curtis Hopkins, speaks of the Presence of God as the Go(o)d we are seeking. The God or Good is all there is, seeking me as I am seeking It. Her teachings recommend denying anything unlike the Go(o)d of God as being Real in anyway. This is True; High Truth. However, since All is God, then there is no opposite. All is God. I am called to deeply love that within me that doesn’t feel good, comfortable, joyful, and yet is equally a condition for the unfolding of my Soul. Last week I experienced three solid days of pure, non-stop terror. I’d met depression several times; this wasn’t that. It was far too sharp an energy to be complacent. My insides felt raw, frozen, uncontrollable terror. I experienced panic, fear, angst, paralyzed, anxiety. The sensations, almost debilitating, required lots of breathing and Self Love at a depth I hadn’t yet known. I didn’t try to deny this inner state, push it away,...

I Like, I Don’t Like: An Insight on Preference

Preferences are such an interesting thing. There are certain foods that I like and I don’t like. And then there foods I may like but my body doesn’t. This insight has come to show me that liking is a conceptual or habitual function. It falls in the realm of opinion. My body, however, in its desire for survival and health talks to me through visceral feedback. Its wisdom is deeper. I remember the day I stopped eating meat. I would like to say I wanted to be a gentler person and not kill animals or that I woke up to the realization that everyone in the world could be fed if each of us ate more plant-based food and less-to-no animal products. Or, point to the environment’s adverse impact due to an overabundance of cow farts (truly, I read a study on this) that influences air quality. But, that isn’t true. I quit eating meat because my body stopped me. Cold turkey (pardon intentional). One day the thought of...

Walking, Races, and Postcards

It is Seafair milk carton boat racing Saturday at Greenlake in Seattle Washington as friend Matt and I dodge pirates, children, and temporary floating devices to make our way back to our cars. To the right is a lake filled with children racing with announcer Chip Hanauer, Seattle hydroplane 11 time gold cup winner, narrating the action. To our left is a row of booths. One booth stands out and Matt and I make our way toward it. We meet entrepreneur Robb Anthony who as a freshmen dreamed of receiving a mail box full of postcards. Thirty would be enough to take away his painful loneliness, he shared with us. Yearning for the thirty and knowing they weren’t coming he decided to give them instead of receive them. Armed with postcards, he began writing to other freshmen. Overwhelmed by volume, he enrolled other students in his vision to remind people of their value. This concept birthed the non-profit Postcards from Farr Away (PFFA). Approaching his table we see a pile...

Becoming the Mother and Daughter Consciousness

I remember the first time I interpreted the Prodigal Son story from the perspective of The Father consciousness instead of, or in addition to, The Son consciousness. The message is The Father is one of Unconditional Love; and celebration of the son regardless of his wayward nature. The Son Consciousness is one of returning to Love, humility/openness, and, receptivity regardless of self opinion. It feels terrific being the always loved child; knowing there is a Presence which loves me always and regardless. And, the spiritual maturity came for me when I was willing to be a place for the Father/Parent consciousness to be revealed within me that I may be the place of the Loving and the loved; the giving forth and the receiving; the Mother and the daughter. Michael Berg in his book The Way, based upon teachings of the Kabbalah, lays out creation in three steps as I interpreted it: 1. God gives forth; 2. We receive the givingness of God; and 3. We then re-enact creation by...

Pig Tails and God

I am blessed with a highly creative daughter who has a great sense of humor. While in high school she went through a program that allowed her to attend high school and college simultaneously. She decided to take Cosmetology Management. Part of this program was practicing hair styles on people. My dad thought he had a good sense of humor and would crack himself up telling jokes which others didn’t find too funny. Last week my daughter sent me a text message which read “Pigtails” and had the following photo of my 9 month old grand baby’s first hair style: (You have to look closely as her hair color and background are pretty close in color). As I clicked on this message and saw the photo, I felt the energy of my daughter and the love the two of us share come through this text. I was pulled into my grand daughter’s joy and the love my daughter has for her. In that same shared moment, I...