Prayer | Bonnie Barnard - Part 4

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God Wants me to Party

My sweetheart and I have plane tickets to go to Bali. Yesterday we learned the island is being evacuated because of volcanic seismic activity. We’re thinking about changing our plans. On the news this morning the focus is Puerto Rico with the residents without water, electricity, and food. The newspaper still covers the last two hurricanes which reeked havoc in our country. As I sit here today feeling concerned over our president’s mental health and what looks like lack of stability; I get quiet and pray. I ask my Self what I can do in the world and for the world. Then I am reminded … Everything is God! Everything is Go(o)d. Another name for God is Good; or That Which is Good.I inhale and exhaled this realization. Everywhere I go God is. Everyone I see is a manifest form of God (whether they have awoken to this or not). The disturbance is in my mind reflected upon the world. It is my insides that are being called to...

In the Name of God

I took my Groupon or Living Social, one of my online coupons, to a neighborhood salon to get my hair done. I brought book Going Clear, an expose’ about the Church of Scientology, along with me to read. The hair dresser introduced himself and then walked me to his station. He asked me what I was reading and I told him adding my friend’s comment on the book “when you think it can’t get weirder, it does.” With his interest peaked, he asked me what made it weird and I proceeded to tell him about L. Ron Hubbard taking his followers to sea and for punishment when they didn’t “obey him” he’d throw them overboard, as one of the many examples. My stylist then confided in me that he had been in what he referred to as a Christian cult. At age 18 he was part of a year long internship program for youth where he was pushed to do strenuous labor like carrying logs from one part of a camp with another. The...

Thank You Mr. President

I have missed you! These past six months I have been traveling and experiencing life without having the compulsion to comment on my experiences or share my internal processes. I am interpreting the “missing” as a call back into my writing. I begin with a big “I miss you.” Each one of you have added a lot to my life and keep the spiritual conversation alive. Thank you. And, I thank Donald Trump. I did not vote for The Donald. I disagree with almost all of his values yet I have been called into deeper love, discernment, and commitment to my awareness of The Life of God operating as me. And, it hasn’t been easy. Deeper Love. I have been called into a state of deeper Love which shows up looking like loving and caring for me, the perceived enemy (President Trump), and those I believe to be impacted by his policies. After decades of regular meditation I can find myself with sleepless nights and surprise surges of adrenaline replicating a panic or...

How Many People Pray for You that You Never Meet?

I was in the midst of a transformation where I entered into what I call the Field of The Lost Souls. It is the energy pocket where I believe suicide is often attempted. The energy is a cream soupy-like dark substance — maybe more quicksand-like with a tight grip. Its nature feels eternal. It isn’t; but it feels that way. Five or ten minutes in this field is enough to force the mind working to find any solution to leave this feeling. Anything would feel better than to sit it out and be present to this energy. I sat it out. I was present to it. I sat it out for seven, intense, lackluster days. That’s 168 hours of energetic paralysis with the desire for an escape hatch. I was blessed in that when I entered into this space I had been a meditator and had a prayer practice for a solid fifteen plus years. I knew intellectually that this had to pass and although it felt eternal; it really wasn’t....

My New Favorite Word

“Words are bundles of energy wrapped in meaning passed to oneself or another for interpretation, response, and eventual digestion.” Rev. Bonnie I guess you can say I’m a “wordie,” which would be like a “foodie” but with words. I sit with words for hours, days, and sometimes years soaking in the original intention and its energy field; inviting the meaning of that word to refine me. Words are the building blocks of sentences which express thoughts unique to me; unique to another; and together a shared ‘we’ of understanding. My friend Quinn, a poet, collects words. She has a box she puts them in and pulls them out for inspiration. Some words have a magnificent sound about them. I honor the word pomegranate for its hearty, substantive sound which comes with a quirky deep red visual. I built a box like Quinn and pomegranate was my first word in. Some words feel good to my tongue and mouth as they pass from the insight outwardly; like “magnificence.” In addition to the melodic...

What Really Follows the Storm?

The beauty of being awake and aware to an inner life is to be present to what is alive within at THIS VERY MOMENT. This is good news. This is also not-so-good news. Not so good in that I am aware of when I am chartering unknown territories and I am in the activity of an inner storm. Good news in that the more I ride out and open to storms; the more confident I am in The Eternal Presence of Divine Love to accompany me through them. Such was the case for me these last two weeks of March. I experienced tremendous inner energy shifts resulting in a few sleepless nights; some allergy issues; and, a case or two of Infinite Doubt, to borrow the phrase used by the multiple authors of How Enlightenment Changes Your Brain. I am now a week on dry land and, as always, grateful to have experienced this inner disruption followed by re-calibration. As I sit in reflection, I pause to recognize all of the Support I received through this process:...