Awake | Bonnie Barnard - Part 3

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Who Am I That I Have Not Wanted to Be?

My dad and I used to love sitting on the couch, lights low, drinking tea and watching politicians running for office. We relished the conversation of who the candidates saw themselves to be, and the vision they articulated for the country. We watched debates, like we watched basketball, and would recall highlights afterward. We watched everyone, and I still do. Democrats, Republicans, and Third Party candidates (Ross Perot being the only serious one I remember discussing). Last night I watched Pete Buttigieg aka Mayor Pete on The Rachel Maddow Show answer questions about coming out of the closet. Rachel begins by asking him why he waited until 33 years old to come out. She said, “I think it would have killed me to be closeted that long … coming out is hard. Being in the closet is harder.” Mayor Pete answered in a way that struck a resounding chord within me, that I will speak to in a moment. He said, “I guess that I just really needed to...

Letting Yourself Go

There is a Country Western song by George Strait that I have on my iPhone as I get a kick out of it every time I hear it. It’s called “She let herself go.” Chances are you’ve heard it. YouTube shows close to 4 million viewings. The lyrics begin with Strait singing about breaking up with his wife: “He wondered how she’d take it when he said goodbye Thought she might do some cryin’ lose some sleep at night But he had no idea, when he hit the road That without him in her life, she’d let herself go…” Then, the song takes a turn to say that she let herself go … and as the listener you are thinking her life fell apart until the verse continues as a play on the words “letting go.” Instead of a response embedded in pain; the wife sees the shift as a form of freedom. With him gone, she was able to do all the things she wanted to do …...

What is Next for You?

Can you recall a time when you did something over and over again and that consistency of practice turned into something powerful and fruitful for you? Maybe it was physical. Maybe you were training for a marathon and your body shifted as you engaged it daily with movement. Possibly you took on a writing challenge and wrote a page a day. Within a year you had written 365 pages and you were able to observe what the discipline provided for you. Or, you may have found consistency in taking care of a pet or child? How about making cold, or warm calls and booking yourself with potential clients each day? As you and I repeatedly engage in consistent behavior we become new; we have developed a part of our being that once was weak into something we can rely upon. This is true with meditation, prayer, tithing, service, and study … all forms of spiritual practice. As we engage daily in meditation; we are able to calm ourselves at...

The Good, The Beautiful and The True

Each morning for the past sixty plus days I have had a thought rise up within me that says, “you are only on earth for a few minutes.” This thought transports me into The Field of Infinite Love and I’ve become giddy with this seeming secret that my time on earth is sweet, sweet, sweetly precious. And oh, so much fun. Since this phrase has been running through my body; what I give my attention to has become more precise. I am able to shake things off that would have taken me down a rabbit hole of distress in the past. Let me give you an example. I am selling my condo. It has been on the market for quite a while. I have received several offers and have turned them down as the terms were not what I wanted. Then, I had an offer that was close. When the realtor called me with it, I said, “let’s wait until this afternoon.” Not knowing why, but knowing it was...

Remember to Include This in Your 2019 Goals

Remember to include this in your 2019 goals … YOU!!! Yes, remember to include what you love, enjoy, want, desire, yearn for, what brings you juice. Remember to prioritize YOU in your goals. Last blog I wrote about setting goals for 2019 and I didn’t invite you to step into the vortex of fun and speak from there. And, it is never to late to develop or to revise your goals. In fact, everything that you commit to is revisable and mutable; you just want to utilize your discretion. This is how goals work. You decide what you want to create, make happen, grow into for 2019, ending in 2020. Then in 2020 you are able to look back and see if these goals were manifest or if they were moved toward. In the meanwhile, you prioritize your goals over all else in order to ensure they come to fruition. Goals, as I see them, come out of desire. De-sire is made up of two meanings. “De” means...

Consciously Closing 2018

Welcome to the last six days of 2018! A client asked me several weeks ago how I go about consciously closing out my year. I have a practice that begins the last quarter of the year when I begin making a list of what I want to make sure I don’t bring with me into the new year of 2019. One of commitments I made to myself was I was NOT going to bring game apps into my 2019. I started playing games on my phone four years ago when a client’s wife told me that they increased brain function and I believed her. What I have learned after four years of playing games while waiting in line, watching television, and when I snatch a minute here or there is that I have become a game addict and traded in much of my creative imagination for game playing. I will not be bringing computer games into 2019 and so on the 31st I will host a ritual that will...